Sorry to this man, because Taylor Swift has officially released Red (Taylor’s Version), her re-recording of her hit 2012 album, and as any true Swiftie will tell you, this spells trouble for Swift’s ex-boyfriend, actor Jake Gyllenhaal.
Many of the songs on Red, including the heartbreak track “All Too Well,” are widely believed to be about Gyllenhaal, who Swift dated for three months in the fall of 2010. At the time, Gyllenhaal was months from turning 30 while Swift was about to be 21.
For years, Swift teased that she also wrote a 10-minute version of “All Too Well,” and with the re-recorded album’s release, she’s finally given that track to the fans. As expected, the lyrics are brutal, with Swift singing: “And I was never good at telling jokes but the punch line goes / I’ll get older but your lovers stay my age,” and “But I’m in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind / You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine / And that made me want to die.”
Swift recently spoke on The Tonight Show about how the 10-minute version of “All Too Well” was the track off Red (Taylor’s Version) that she was most excited for fans to finally hear.
“I was going through a bit of sad time,” she told Jimmy Fallon about writing the song. “I was in band rehearsals for a tour that I was about to go out on called the Speak Now tour. I showed up for rehearsals, and I just was really upset and sad and everybody could tell—it was really not fun to be around me that day—and so I started playing guitar and just playing the same four chords over and over again. The band sort of joined in, and I started ad-libbing what I was going through and what I was feeling, and the song kept building and building and building in intensity, and the song just went for about 10 to 15 minutes of us doing this.”
Naturally, in response to finally hearing the track, fans did what they do best and completely roasted Gyllenhaal on Twitter. Below, some of the funniest reactions:
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i know jake gyllenhaal is getting in the shower for the first time in weeks tonight just to cry
— Gråçë (@garrcie) November 12, 2021
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wow I can’t believe today is jake gyllenhaal’s last day of peace like. ever
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 11, 2021
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what if you were jake gyllenhaal and you wanted to go to heaven but god said nah remember when you missed taylor swift’s 21st birthday party
— paige hettinger (@404paigenotfnd) November 12, 2021
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Jake Gyllenhaal now that #AllTooWellTenMinuteVersion has been released: pic.twitter.com/qIafOMaMb5
— 𝑴 (@amarveloustime_) November 12, 2021
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actually losing it imagining 30 year old jake gyllenhaal saying “fuck the patriarchy” as he gives his keys to his teenage girlfriend taylor swift so that she can drive the car
— sie ✨ (@nowyousieme) November 12, 2021
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jake gyllenhaal rn wondering if it’s already too late to return the scarf pic.twitter.com/YM9P2mjIfY
— jannah red tv!! (@ikissfratrry) November 12, 2021
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Imagine if Jake Gyllenhaal had just given Taylor Swift back her scarf.
— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) November 12, 2021
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taylor swift watching everyone react to all too well 10 minute version when jake gyllenhaal hasn’t even crossed her mind for half a decade pic.twitter.com/6S78BBNMqX
— lex (@gretagerwigflew) November 12, 2021
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Jake Gyllenhaal after #RedTaylorsVersion release as of now: pic.twitter.com/kQxwYlNTdw
— Becky 🇵🇭🧣| ia bc school (@Swiftieee19) November 12, 2021
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Joe Jonas going to sleep tonight knowing all the attention is on Jake Gyllenhaal pic.twitter.com/f2T1LmBchH
— im shane gray 4 cryn out loud (@camprockqueen) November 11, 2021
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Jake Gyllenhaal has stopped breathing #RedTaylorsVersion pic.twitter.com/HkNZXNLd7b
— Zoe🧣 (@delicatestan1) November 12, 2021
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Jake Gyllenhaal broke up with taylor swift because he said the age gap was too big, and she really wrote “I get older but your lovers stay my age.”
— Lara Korte 🦃 (@lara_korte) November 12, 2021
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jake gyllenhaal fighting for his life rn #RedTaylorsVersion pic.twitter.com/mCeIjYsgeT
— rae (@reignwomenn) November 12, 2021
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jake gyllenhaal turn off your phone for the weekend baby
— daniel taroy (@danieltaroy) November 12, 2021
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How Im sleeping tonight knowing I’m not Jake Gyllenhaal’s publicist pic.twitter.com/otDuPs1MGJ
— maya (@allmychampagne) November 11, 2021
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I am not a swiftie but from what I can tell, she is hunting Jake Gyllenhaal for sport, and good for her
— Margaret McDeadlines Owen (@what_eats_owls) November 12, 2021
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All of Jake Gyllenhaal’s friends tomorrow hearing 10 whole minutes of All Too Well pic.twitter.com/MR6cCPWEQr
— Thicc-ery Binx 🐈⬛ (Taylor’s Version) (@tootsdeville) November 11, 2021
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jake gyllenhaal is screaming crying & throwing up
— wolfgang ruth (@itswolfgangruth) November 12, 2021
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jake gyllenhaal disappearing from public eye for the rest of the year now that red tv is out #RedTaylorsVersion pic.twitter.com/p9it7LHcrU
— michael (@hemswcrthy) November 12, 2021
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Jake Gyllenhaal having a “fuck the patriarchy” keychain while dating women 10 years younger than him does track yes
— carina hsieh (@carinahsieh) November 12, 2021
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john mayer after he saw what happened to jake gyllenhaal #RedTaylorsVersion pic.twitter.com/VU8MVGoqeC
— kadriye (@tayspetsch) November 12, 2021
Источник: www.elle.com
