I was inspired to write this article by the story of an old friend of mine, Olena, with whom I happened to chat over a cup of coffee. Her eighty-year-old grandmother, until recently a lively and sharp-tongued woman, suddenly lay down and found herself bedridden. Sensing the seriousness of the situation, the old woman asked to call a priest, informs Ukr.Media.
The priest listened carefully to her and delicately reminded her that illness is a time to reflect on one's life, so it is worth sincerely repenting if there is any burden on the soul. The grandmother, without thinking for long, gave everything away: “I repent, Father! All I did for half my life was gossip.”
She honestly admitted that she sat on a bench and poked her nose into the affairs of every passerby. Who had a recent renovation done at whose expense, whose daughter was walking around in a short skirt until the morning, and whose husband was a clueless slacker and a drunkard. She discussed everyone, and sometimes, with a sinful deed, she even embellished reality so that there was something to chat about with her friends. Now she would be happy to clap her tongue, but half of her friends are gone, and she herself cannot get out of bed. Hard labor, but, as she herself admitted, it was fully deserved.
The most interesting thing started about three months later. To the great surprise of her relatives, who were already mentally preparing for the worst, the grandmother began to move around the apartment little by little, leaning on a stick. She now assures everyone that after a sincere confession, such a burden fell from her soul that the Almighty himself gave her a second chance. And although she does not plan to run marathons, she treats her independent steps around the room as a real miracle.
Is gossip really such a terrible sin?
If you think about it, religion takes gossip extremely seriously. Priests call it backbiting and condemnation. For a Christian, such behavior is unacceptable. The Bible says: do not go around as a gossip among your people. And the famous theologian John Chrysostom urged us to be afraid of cursing others, because this directly contradicts God's will.
However, the door to heaven is not closed forever, even for the most ardent gossipers. Christianity teaches that sincere repentance can free the soul from any sin.
Gossip from a psychological perspective
Psychology looks at this habit very pragmatically. Our thinking and speech are continuous processes. We simply cannot stop thinking, fantasizing, or analyzing.
It turns out that gossiping is perhaps the most tempting way to keep your brain busy.
Few people consciously want to harm another. That's why they often choose targets who, as it were, have asked to be battered. These are show business stars or politicians who themselves climb to us every day from TV screens and smartphones. They regularly create infomercials, attracting attention to themselves.
But the old women at the entrance gossip banally out of boredom. When their own lives are no longer full of events (except for trips to the pharmacy or the market), they simply realize the potential of their psyche, replacing action with endless chatter.
Judging and devaluing other people is a manifestation of toxicity, internal aggression, and dissatisfaction with one's own fate. Therefore, it is important to monitor how you communicate.
It's one thing to talk about how beautiful your neighbor's balcony is. Like, the renovation is fresh, the flowers are gorgeous – people live there, it's beautiful!
It's another matter to try to devalue someone else's success with bile in your voice: “Did you buy an expensive car? Well, of course, you must have stolen it somewhere at a tender. And the woman is so painted because she runs after other people's men, one hundred percent!”.
Do you feel the difference?
What to do when your tongue itches?
Psychologists advise something simple, almost ingenious: as soon as you feel your tongue itching to “wash someone's bones” – silently get up and go for a walk. Walk in the park, around the city, or at least run circles around your own house. Rhythmic movements perfectly relieve stress and cool down a brain boiling with emotions.
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☕ This is an innocent conversation 🚫 This is a toxic sin 🤔 I have my own story
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