Hands off the plate! We're breaking down one of the most ridiculous etiquette tips that makes decent people feel awkward

You are sitting in a nice restaurant, the waiter has just placed a plate with a fragrant dish in front of you, but a little too far away. Your hand reaches out to move it closer. It would seem like a trifle? Not at all! Some etiquette gurus claim that at this moment you make a fatal mistake that betrays you as a provincial.

We took a typical article on this topic, the most striking comments on it, and an expert's conclusion to deal with it once and for all.

Arguments of the “etiquette police”

So what is the sin? Proponents of strict rules say:

Serving is a carefully thought-out work of art by the waiter. By moving the plate, you are like painting the Mona Lisa's mustache.
Moving a plate is an intrusion into the staff's sphere of responsibility. It's almost like walking into the kitchen and telling the chef how much salt to add.
This gesture signals that you “lack” space or confidence.

It sounds so serious it's funny.

What people are saying

We've collected the best comments that perfectly describe the absurdity of the situation.

“In most restaurants, waiters don't even realize they're putting together a 'carefully thought-out arrangement.'” Often, a plate is simply placed in an empty spot because other guests interfered or they were in a hurry.

As one commentator aptly observed: “That's how I imagine a naughty waiter who deliberately places plates in the center of the table and enjoys watching well-mannered diners reach for them with their swan necks.”

And what to do if it's inconvenient? The advice to call a waiter caused a flurry of sarcasm: “I can imagine the waiter's face if you call him and ask him to move the plate. Cognitive dissonance will happen to him.” Or even better: “I came to the restaurant, the waiter left, and I shouted after him: “Come back, the plate is inconvenient!””.

Don't complicate your life.

After analyzing such articles, etiquette experts conclude: this is a mixing of strict diplomatic protocol with ordinary life.

Can the plate be moved? YES

The “no touching” rule applies at royal dinner parties where a footman stands behind you. In 99% of restaurants, even the most expensive ones, your comfort is the most important thing.

A much bigger “violation” would be to get sauce on a tablecloth or your own clothes while reaching for food.

Should I call the waiter to move the plate? NO

In real life, this comes across as arrogant or helpless. You're distracting a busy person for a trivial matter. Real etiquette is respecting other people's time.

How about eating soup?

The classic rule of “moving the spoon away from you” is British. In continental Europe, it's perfectly normal to eat “towards yourself.” And tilting your plate to finish the leftovers is OK, but only away from you — so that in case of an accident, the soup spills onto the table, not on you.

So what's the point?

True etiquette is not about torturing yourself by sitting in an awkward position, afraid of disturbing the “harmony” that no one is aware of. The essence of etiquette is to behave decently and not disturb others.

As they aptly wrote in the comments: “People, eat as you please, just don't act like pigs, that's all.”

Are you a respected guest in a restaurant or a helpless hostage to absurd rules of etiquette?

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